In the beginning…

Dear X,

As we come closer to your first birthday, I realize one day I would like to look back on these fleeting moments. When I take photos of you I can never seem to capture how tender the moments are, and I realize writing of them here will be the same. Still, I would like to capture the little bits I can.

Even in your first few days you were able to tell us just how unimpressed you were. Nurses and relatives alike were confounded by your tendency to either sleep or scream – I tried desperately to feed you in between, with more or less luck depending on the day. We later convinced your Dr, when you were 9 months old, that you had reflux and milk protein intolerance. You were given Zantac daily and switched to a special formula, and were much happier within a day or two. I never knew I could love someone so much and still feel so completely inept to love them as they needed. At that appointment I realized you didn’t really hate me. Our relationship has grown from there.

Meanwhile, you’ve managed to hit your milestones more or less on time. You began crawling at 6 1/2 months. We moved to a new home about that time. One night you were rocking back and forth on your hands and knees, and the next day you started crawling as if it was easy. That same day you started pulling up on furniture to stand. There were a few days in there that I wanted to tape you down – you learned to stand, but you hadn’t yet learned to get down without falling back on your head.

You began walking at 9 1/2 months. Now you are 11 1/2 months and you run and climb. Your first tooth came on the bottom, when you were 10 months old, and then recently we saw the second and third coming down from the top. The next day your fourth and fifth on top were just under the gum, and the next your 6th was seen cutting at the bottom.

At 10 months you started calling the “kitty” – the only creature within earshot who refuses to come near you. You have been saying “dada” for months. Within the past month you’ve learned to clap, wave, use the remote control for the TV instead of just stealing it to chew on, and finally to say “mama” as often as you say “dada”. Today’s word is “uh oh”. Your hair still manages to be strawberry blond, although you have mama’s dark brown eyes, and the slight build both your parents had when they were little. You would probably weigh more if you weren’t so busy – but that might involve less running back and forth or hopping, neither of which you would stop I’m sure. You yell back at the dryer when the timer goes off to say laundry is done, and sing as I vaccuum just to hear your own voice.

Meanwhile, we are currently in the process of adopting your cousin – a two year old boy who we look forward to meeting and loving soon. You don’t understand yet, but I am sure you will come to feel he is your brother, and one day appreciate the relationship you will have together. We’re sure you will love having another little boy to play with, so much so that you’ll come to realize Mama & Daddy can love you just as much while loving him too.


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